October was a weird one. It felt as though every single second of my time was spent at work, and while that was essentially true it's also the closest I've come this year to feeling like I've struck a balance. Which is weird because I know for a fact that isn't true. I've struggled to find the time or energy to do any of the things I want to do, and I have been struuuuuuggling to make it through the work day. However, despite the fact I've been spending a minimum of five days a week neatly arranging shirts (straight up this post is coming to you from the pages of a notebook, written on my coffee break) the time I have had off has been spent finally prioritising things that have always been important to me, and I think that's what's made the difference.

My October revolved around singing and songwriting (not much other writing but one thing at a time lads) and, on a more pretentious level, gaining confidence and clarity. I've still barely seen my mum or my friends, and good god am I sleep deprived, but right now I couldn't think of a better way to spend a day off than catching the train out to my singing teacher (slash BFF/self from the future)'s studio and working on things that actually matter to me.

I think it's pretty common that the things we care about most are the things we're most self-critical about, and I think I've held myself back quite a bit because of that, but October was a month of finding direction, and although overall my life is terrifying me at the moment (more on that soon I'm sure) I'm so excited to see where that direction takes me.

Goals For November

1. Get through my last month at work

Good god give me strength. I've handed in my notice and I'm officially done at the end of November but it is going to take all my will power to drag myself out of bed every day til then. But there are far worse things I could be doing. This is what I tell myself when I am on the verge of a retail-induced rage blackout. 30 days.

2. Blog consistently

One of the main reasons I'm so excited to finish work is that - with the notable exception of music - I've found it essentially impossible to spend any time on the things I actually care about lately. I haven't been making videos or writing or even really having much time to see my friends, but I'm determined to make time this month. Should be fine. Got a luxurious 12 hours between the end of my shift tonight and when I need to be back again tomorrow morning. Love it.

3. Finalise lyric sheets

One of my major projects in October was sorting through all the songs I've written, recently and over the last few years, and deciding which ones are worth spending more time on. Now that I've got my list I just need to feel like they're 100% done so I can arrange them and then focus on writing new ones.

4. Minimise pre-move wardrobe

We're getting close to crunch time re: packing up my entire life so it must be done.

5. Sort books

Books are a thing that is not particularly easy to transport overseas.

6. See my friends

Time with my friends is one of the main things that's been impacted by the amount I've been working. Considering I'm moving overseas in just over two months this is something I'm not particularly happy about, but ain't no use in complaining about something u can just fix amirite.

7. Tech detox

I did a mini technology detox in September and it was great, so I want to do it again this month. I find that having a little gameplan ready for whenever I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed is really useful, so let me know if you'd want to see a post about that whenever I do it.

8. Keep going to the gym

After 22 years of thinking I hated exercise I have suddenly discovered that I actually quite enjoy it, so I shall be continuing my new life as The Healthiest Girl In The World throughout November.

9. Get back into meditating

This used to be a part of my daily routine but I stopped for a few months, and starting again has made such a big difference that I'm not really seeing any excuses not to work it back into my life on a consistent basis.

10. Finish my Venice book

You may remember the 450 page history of Venice that I bought a few months ago. I am still very much in love with it, but I've been distracted reading other things and still have about a third to finish. Get it done.

Not particularly exciting but that is my LIFE right now yall.

I have to wake up for work in four hours so I'm going to go have a beautiful little rest. Holler at me if you've got any goals for the next month because I could always use some #lifeinspo, and I will be back within the next few days with some more top quality content for yall. 

The hiatus is over.

We can all breathe again.

x0